🍗 Join now
AI actively trading right now

Your money. Our AI.
Your profits. 🍗

TendieStak connects to your existing brokerage account and uses AI to automatically trade stocks and crypto — you keep the profits, we only charge when you win.

No profit this month? We charge you nothing. // tendies = profits 🍗

🚀 Connect my account — free 👀 How it works
Your money stays at your broker
12,000+ brokerages
10 min setup
No wins = no fees
+$1,063
profit today
$99,008
portfolio
65+
min score
9:47 AM
● ● ●
🍗 TENDIESTAK LIVE
5 NEW
🌅
MORNING BRIEFING
SPY +0.9% · VIX 15.7 · 3 tendies in the fryer 🚀
7:00 AM
🟢
BOUGHT SNOW — 89/100
83 shares @ $237.60 · Stop $225.72
9:31 AM
🟢
BOUGHT ONDS — 82/100
651 shares @ $12.91 · 4/4 timeframes
9:45 AM
🍗
PROFIT SECURED — SNOW
Sold @ $241.00 · +$282.20! Winner winner 🎉
3:58 PM
📊
END OF DAY
Total: +$1,063.12 · PDF saved 🍗
4:00 PM
SNOW+$282 stacked 🍗 ONDS+$403 mooning 🚀 AVAV+$377 diamond hands 💎 PLTR+$312 apes eating 🦍 BACscore 42 — rejected ❌ INJ71/100 watching 👀 SNOW+$282 stacked 🍗 ONDS+$403 mooning 🚀 AVAV+$377 diamond hands 💎 BACscore 42 — rejected ❌
$99,008
Portfolio today
+$1,063
Profit today
130+
Stocks 24/7
55+
Crypto 24/7
12k+
Brokerages
65+
Min score
LIVE ALERTS

Your phone goes off.
Your account goes up.

Every buy, every sell, 7am briefing, 4pm end of day. Always know what's happening with your money.

🌅
7:00am — Morning Briefing
SPY, VIX, open positions, today's game plan
DAILY
🟢
Every BUY — instant
Ticker, price, score, stop loss, target
INSTANT
🍗
Every SELL — profit confirmed
Exit price, profit in dollars, winner winner
INSTANT
📊
4:00pm — End of Day Report
Total profit, PDF auto-generated and saved
DAILY
📄
Weekly PDF — Sunday
Full trade log, win rate, AI improvements
WEEKLY
3:58 PM
● ● ●
🍗 TENDIESTAK
LIVE
🌅
MORNING BRIEFING
SPY +0.9% · VIX 15.7 · Tendies incoming 🚀
7:00 AM
🟢
BOUGHT SNOW — 89/100
83 shares @ $237.60 · Stop $225.72
9:31 AM
🟢
BOUGHT ONDS — 82/100
651 shares @ $12.91 · 4/4 timeframes
9:45 AM
🍗
PROFIT SECURED
SNOW @ $241.00 · +$282.20! Winner winner! 🎉
3:58 PM
📊
END OF DAY
Total: +$1,063.12 · PDF saved 🍗
4:00 PM
// zero noise policy
Only buy and sell alerts. No spam. Just the trades that matter.
The AI found 3 profitable trades while you read this. 👀
SNOW +$282. ONDS +$403. AVAV +$377. $1,062 profit today. Your account could be doing this.
HOW IT WORKS
Connect your account.
We handle the rest.
Keep your existing brokerage. Your money never moves. We get trading permission only — and charge nothing unless we profit.
// how your money actually works
01
You have a brokerage account — Fidelity, Schwab, Robinhood, Coinbase, 12,000+ others. Don't have one? We'll help you open one free.
02
Your money stays there. Plaid — same tech Coinbase uses — connects it. Trading access only. We can NEVER withdraw. Ever.
03
AI trades on your behalf using your balance. Every trade logged and sent to your phone instantly.
04
You keep the profits. We take a small % of gains only. No profit? Zero charge. Tendies = profits. Now you know 🍗
✓ Alpaca✓ Coinbase Fidelity soonSchwab soon Robinhood soon+ 12,000 via Plaid
01
Create your account
Sign up, verify your ID. Takes 3 minutes.
// Stripe Identity · bank-level security
02
Sign your trading agreement
DocuSign LPOA — trading access only. Never withdraw. Revocable anytime.
// DocuSign · legally binding · revoke anytime
03
Connect via Plaid
Your normal brokerage login. Works with 12,000+ institutions.
// Plaid · 256-bit encryption · trusted by Coinbase
04
AI starts trading
130+ stocks and 55+ crypto scanned 24/7. Below 65 score = auto-rejected.
// 24/7 · min score 65 · self-learning AI
05
Collect your profits
Alerts every trade. PDFs auto-generated. Profit? We take our cut. No profit? Zero.
// no win no fee · winner winner chicken dinner 🍗
FEATURES
Everything your money needs.
🧠
Self-learning AI
Gets smarter after every trade. Wins and losses both teach it.
💎
Diamond hands algo
Trailing stops lock in gains. Never sells too early.
🕐
24/7 crypto
Crypto never sleeps. Neither does TendieStak.
📰
News AI
Bad news = bail. Good news = load up the fryer.
📄
Legal ledger + PDFs
Every trade hashed, timestamped, PDF'd automatically.
🔒
Bank-level security
Plaid + DocuSign + API only. We trade, never withdraw.
📊
0-100 scoring
Every trade scored before execution. Below 65 = rejected.
🌅
Morning briefings
7am daily market overview to your phone.
🔄
Weekly retraining
ML models retrain every Sunday. Gets smarter weekly.
THE AI BRAIN
Not luck. Not guesses.
Pure machine learning.
Five phases of ML. Every trade teaches it. Gets smarter every day.
TV Scanner — 4 timeframes60 pts
Order book pressure20 pts
MACD momentum15 pts
Bollinger bands10 pts
News sentiment10 pts
65+ = trade executes · below 65 = auto-rejected
high scores = tendies incoming 🍗 · low scores = paper hands blocked
PHASE 01
Data Pipeline
  • 15-feature logging
  • Outcome tracking
  • Train/test split
  • Normalization
PHASE 02
Supervised
  • Random Forest
  • Logistic Regression
  • KNN + Decision Tree
  • Deep Neural Network
PHASE 03
Unsupervised
  • K-Means regimes
  • DBSCAN anomalies
  • PCA features
  • t-SNE viz
PHASE 04
Reinforcement
  • Q-Learning
  • Deep Q Network
  • Reward = profit 🍗
  • Punishment = loss ×3
PHASE 05
Deployment
  • FastAPI endpoints
  • Auto-retrain weekly
  • Hyperparameter tuning
  • Cloud-ready
ALWAYS ON
Self Learning
  • Learns every trade
  • Auto-blacklists tickers
  • Adjusts thresholds
  • Gets smarter daily
// auto-retrains every sunday 6am
Gets smarter every week. Apes evolving. Regards. 🦍
THE LANGUAGE
New to trading? Here's the decoder. 🍗
Built by a WallStreetBets trader from Crown Point, Indiana. Here's what the language means.
tendies 🍗
Profits. Gains. We stack these daily.
to the moon 🚀
Stock going way up. Every trade's goal.
diamond hands 💎
Holding through dips. Our stops do this.
paper hands 📄
Panic sells. Our AI blocks these entries.
GUH 😭
A big loss. Stop losses prevent these.
YOLO 🎰
All in. We YOLO responsibly — scored 65+.
apes 🦍
Retail traders. All in this together.
mooning 🌕
Going way up fast. We catch these.
stonks 📈
Stocks. We scan 130+ of them 24/7.
squeeze 💥
Short squeeze = huge gains.
regarded 🎓
WSB term of endearment.
regards ✍️
From Indiana, with regards. 🍗
Every day you wait is profit left on the table. 📈
The AI is scanning right now. Your brokerage is just sitting there doing nothing.
PRICING
We only charge when we make you money.
No subscription. No monthly fee. A small % of profits only. Zero profit? You pay nothing.
Starter 🐣
$0/mo base
// 15% of monthly profits only
  • 🍗 Up to $5k in your account
  • 🍗 Stock trading
  • 🍗 Phone alerts every trade
  • 🍗 Monthly PDF report
  • 🍗 No profit = zero charge
Growth 🍗
MOST POPULAR
$0/mo base
// 15% of monthly profits only
  • 🍗 Up to $25k in your account
  • 🍗 Stocks AND crypto
  • 🍗 Priority phone alerts
  • 🍗 Weekly PDF reports
  • 🍗 7am morning briefing
  • 🍗 No profit = zero charge
Pro 🏆
$0/mo base
// 10% of monthly profits only
  • 🍗 Unlimited account size
  • 🍗 Stocks AND crypto
  • 🍗 Real time alerts
  • 🍗 Daily PDF reports
  • 🍗 Dedicated support
  • 🍗 No profit = zero charge
// starter example
$5k · +3% = +$150
Fee: $22.50 · Keep: $127.50
// growth example
$25k · +3% = +$750
Fee: $112.50 · Keep: $637.50
// pro example
$100k · +3% = +$3,000
Fee: $300 · Keep: $2,700
// the deal
No profit = no fee. We eat when you eat. Winner winner chicken dinner. Regards. ✍️ 🍗
🚀 🍗 🌕
Your brokerage account
should be working for you.
Connect it to TendieStak. AI trades 24/7.
You keep profits. We charge only when you win.
🍗 Connect my account — it's free 🔒 How is my money protected?
// no credit card · no commitment · cancel anytime